I guess this might be a final thought on fear… but who knows; at least it’s the final one thus far.
Why am I not fearful about more things? I mean I know what I am scared of and have admitted as such to myself and I also know what I am scared of and have not admitted to myself, but what really has got me at the moment is: why am I not fearful of these things that I should be fearful of?
I won’t get into the details of what those things should be.
The list would be too long. But really, there are things I run into on a daily basis and I am just simply not scared of them, in fact I practically invite such things my way.
How stupid of me!!!
I mean these things are going to nothing for me; they will only for sure hurt me in some way. It’s like Heidi Montage signing up for a free plastic surgery give away, or an alcoholic going to a beerfest; let’s be serious, something is going to happen and it will not be for the better.
I jump in front of cars without even a flinch only to get up and realize, “Hey that was stupid, I shouldn’t do things like that.” Rarely is it new things in my life that are like this, it’s mostly the same old thing, the same, the same, the same. Where is my fear that I should admit to? To be honest I’m really not scared at all, I want it to happen! What’s wrong with me? Seriously who will rescue me from the body of death? You think by now I’d know that, “Hey this thing will destroy me.” GAH! I could go on forever on this and never say anything new.
But my main desire is to gain a fear of these things and these places that I go to; I am befuddle, however, as to how exactly I go about doing so. I want to tremble before such things so that as I go towards them I am cautious and prefer other paths and places.
This is one of those posts that won’t make sense in 4 months…