God said wait.

So I was thinking this morning driving to classes about being here, that is in seminary and in Atlanta.  Its weird for me to think about how not only did I apply to only one seminary, but that I was chosen as well.
I feel as if, since I got here, I have been searching, almost too hard, whether this is really my call or not.  But, thinking back on just the fact that I threw everything on coming here, and was one of the 1/3 that got accepted I was reassured, at least within my own thought process, that this is where I am called.
And now I am finally here.
I waited around an extra two years knowing all the while that I wanted to go to seminary since I was in high school.  But when I got to college I was constantly being told to wait.  Ultimately from God, but it did not seem like it at the time, only because I was not listening to it from that perspective; instead, all I was hearing was to think about whether I really am called or not, or, what I heard, told to doubt myself.
Ultimately, though, I found, towards the end of my freshman year, that I was not ready to go to seminary, as much as I wanted it at that time, even though I knew I had 4 more years left, and ended up taking another year as well, just for kicks.  What that did though was to really let me think about the here and now, where am I called to today?  How can I grow now?  What can I learn from here?
Even when I graduated I voluntarily waited, I really didn’t want to, I kind of wanted to get out of Greensboro.  Yet again, though, there was so much learning to be had and growth to be done that I didn’t really mind it then.
But now, finally I am here, where I have wanted to be at for a while now, but was ready to wait for.  I am glad I was told to wait, by others and by God.  I am now, what Bobby Mack has called, “seasoned”.  For some reason that makes me feel like an old fisherman?  However, I would have to agree.  The 7 years of waiting and thinking about the “now” sanctified me.  I grew in not only patience, but a whole slew of other things, like disciplines and discernment; I’m more grounded in what I myself believe, which now allows me to freely plug other theologies and doctrines in and either keep or do away with them if I don’t believe they are true, in so far as I belief what Scripture testifies to true.
I am glad that I am more seasoned, and rigid, firmly planted in my own identity in Christ and not developing it as I go through what many theologians and scholars think identity in Christ should or could be.  I was able to sit under great teaching, discipleship and counsel and develop a firm view of myself and of God, ie. worldview.
I even came to enjoy the waiting!
When I look at things as what God would have for me it really makes the world an easier place to live in.


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